ME Time for M0MS.

Even the most dedicated and patient mother needs a break every now and then. Your reasons may be different from mine but I know for me personally, sometimes the responsibilities of life tend to get a bit overwhelming. Every once in a blue moon, I’m able to catch a break from work, school, church, friends, finances & everything else that demands my attention almost on a daily basis but the one thing that I can hardly seem to catch a break from is MOTHERHOOD. Now don’t get me wrong, because I love my babies. They are truly my two little balls of sunshine but sometimes the day-to-day tasks of motherhood are just tough. That’s not really the reason we all deserve a little quiet time. It’s because those day-to-day tasks literally never end. If you’re a mom you know exactly what I’m talking about; there’s always something to do! It is so easy for moms to forget that they’re people too and as such, deserving of the occasional breather.

Due to the fact that I don’t have a very good support system, I don’t get breaks very often. In fact, “breaks” are very rare for me so when I do get them… I appreciate them very much! Because of this, I tend to dramatically indulge in my little “me time” moments!! Maaannn, I ENJOY EVERY SINGLE SECOND I GET!! Just to help another mom out there that’s like me and doesn’t get to enjoy the luxury of breaks.. I’m gonna share some of my mommy indulges.

1. GET UP EARLIER

Monday-Friday I’m automatically up no later than 5:45am to get ready for work & get my kids ready for school but on the weekends.. sometimes, I’m up early by choice! I like to enjoy the quiet and stillness of the house while they’re sleeping in. I have found it to be one of the best times to read a book, study my bible, spend some time in prayer, write/blog, do some exercising, get a head start on cleaning or just lay there and be lazy in peace while scrolling on social media.

2. GIVE YOURSELF AT LEAST ONE NIGHT OFF PER WEEK

Now sometimes, this is just something necessary to do…absolutely nothing and it feels good! I don’t have a designated day for this one. I just kind of base this one off of how my work day went. Most of the time if it was a super long and stressful one then yeah.. I’m taking the night off at home and by night off, I mean I’m literally coming home to unwind and relax! I’m not cooking dinner, doing laundry and sometimes not even the dishes! The only things those type of nights consist of in my house are my daily tasks with my children (homework, showers and easy dinner like pizza) , a big glass of wine to myself, enjoying some of my favorite TV shows and spending time with my Husband!

3. BATHROOM TIME!!

OK! This funky little idea right here just so happens to be one of my FAVORITES!! It kinda seems like the younger your children are the more they seem to harass you while you’re on the toilet or in the shower but now that mine are a little older (3yrs & 5yrs) they know to leave me alone when I’m in there!! Now before I go spend 45mins-1hr in the bathroom, I usually wait until their dad is home just in case they need anything… they can ask him! (& don’t ask me why I’m in there that long either haha sometimes it’s just the best place to relax… ya know a bubble bath & a glass of wine, music, my phone and to get away from everyone!!) If he’s not there, then I wait until they’re in the bed! Usually, by that time they don’t need anything else but to go to sleep. Time in the bathroom is a great way to get some good quiet me time!

4. QUIET TIME AKA NAP TIME

I don’t make my kids take naps as often as I use to just because I feel like they’re getting a little too old for them. Even though, the house is quietest when they’re sleeping and most relaxing for me… I save this method for when I’m exhausted and need a nap myself or if I’m just not feeling well and don’t have the energy to do anything but lay around. However, when a daily nap use to be apart of my children’s schedule it was usually a time of relief for me. I would take advantage of that time to get some things done that I would normally struggle with if they were awake and running wild.

5. MAXIMIZE YOUR COMMUTE

Sometimes, I leave my kids at home with their dad & take trips to Walmart or the Dollar Store just to get out of the house and catch a breather. Sometimes, I go because I have something in particular that I need to buy and sometimessss I go just to get that break away from home for a few minutes; especially after a tough day. It’s just nice to be alone and get some fresh air. This is indeed relaxing. Not only is it nice to get away from the kids for a minute but its also nice to window shop! haha and when I’m shopping for real, it’s just nice to shop in peace! This sounds horrible but I love going to the store without my kids because normally when they’re with me they ask for absolutely everything!! Every now and then, they’ll drive me completely up the wall in Walmart from one aisle to the next! Bless it Lord haha.

5. BOX TECHNIQUE!

The box technique is also known as “chill time” in my house. This particular box is where you keep all of your children’s favorite toys/games that they don’t play too often or have to be under supervision while playing with them. For example, my box consists of Tablets, Nintendo DS, Playdough, Slime, Coloring Books & Crayons! Well actually, I don’t quite have box. I’m not that organized 😂 my stuff sits up on a shelf! But anyway, my kids LOVE chill time!! Whenever I want a few minutes of “calm & quiet” I let them choose from the shelf what they want to play with. If it’s electronics, then I make them sit on their beds and play them quietly. If it’s playdough or slime, I let them sit at their table and quietly play with those as well. Same method for the coloring. My boys LOVE when I let them get their hands on this stuff! Believe it or not but it keeps them very content, calm, happy & entertained for a long time! I know when I pull this stuff out, most of the time I don’t have to worry about them arguing/fighting. Y’all know how kids can be! Anyways, this gives me the chance to kinda relax in my world a little bit & just do some things that I enjoy doing in peace. (Arts & Crafts, Making Door Wreaths, Writing/Blogging, or just watching TV!) Yay, another win for mom!!

6. THE BEAUTY SALON

This is another form of “me time” that is absolutely one of my favorites! You get to pamper yourself AND enjoy the luxury of “me time” all in one! It’s pretty self explanatory. I haven’t been to the beauty salon in what seems like forever!! It’s about time that I pay them another visit very soon. I need something done to my hair ASAP 🤪 I shall be treating myself very very soon !!

7. PUT THE KIDS TO BED AT A DECENT TIME EVERY NIGHT

I understand that a lot of parents are different when it comes to this. Some people put their kids to bed by 8pm and some let their kids stay up til 2am. Some people have their kids on a schedule and some don’t. At my house, my kids are in the bed by 8pm most nights. Occasionally, they get to stay up until 10:30pm at the latest but other than that.. they’re in the bed at a decent time. For my Husband and I have to them on a daily routine like that is beneficial to both them & us. They get the proper amount of sleep they need to function the next day and we get the rest of the night to spend quality time with each other. I personally know a few people who have said that one of the biggest issues between them & their partner/spouse is that they never get to spend any time together due to always having to deal with the kids. These are also people/parents who let their kids stay up close until 2am every night too. I just want to state the fact that one of the reasons marriages & relationships fail .. is due to lack of communication and quality time. To have your kids on a schedule/daily routine is beneficial to single parents as well. I don’t make my kids go straight to sleep as soon as they lay down. I let them lay there and watch a movie of their choice until they doze off. (which is normally an hr after they’ve gotten in the bed) When they’re in the bed, I use all of that time to really relax! I get to sit down and eat my dinner in peace, enjoy TV in peace, spend QT with my husband in peace and get super comfortable! I know by that time it’s always perfectly okay to do so. If you’re one those people who absolutely can’t catch a break for nothing… just know that if and when you get your kids on a schedule when it comes to bedtime, you’ll find a lot more relief. Don’t complain about never being able to catch a breather if you haven’t tried this yet!

I love my babies but sometimes.. I just need a break from my little rugrats and the day-to day tasks. I know there are other moms out there like me who don’t have the greatest support system and have to take quick breaks when they can and enjoy them! Just don’t forget that you’re a person & you deserve the occasional breather too. I hope that some of my Me Time for Moms Ideas helped you and if you have any that you’d like to share please feel free to do so!! I’m always open to new ideas 🙂 

 

The Dangers of Toxic People & Benefits of Letting Them Go !! ✌🏽

Let me just start off by saying that toxic relationships are dangerous to your health; they will literally kill you. Stress shortens your lifespan. Even a broken heart can kill you. People will drive you crazy if you let them. When you notice someone does something toxic for the first time, don’t wait for the second time before you address it or cut them off. Last year, I learned a few life lessons that taught me the importance of being selective about where & who I invest my energy in. I had certain goals that I was trying to reach, certain things that I was trying to achieve, big dreams that I was working towards & just trying to better myself as a person period and there were certain people that I hung around or allowed to be in my space that weren’t very supportive of any of those things. They weren’t bad people! Yeah, sure it was fun to hang out with them every now & then, laugh, joke, cut up & have a few drinks with but eventually I realized that they just weren’t the type of people that needed to be in my inner circle. This is cliché but it is sooooo important to make friendships that are deeper than gossiping, drinking and going out. Make friends with people who love you, genuinely care about you and want to see you make it. Build friendships and relationships with people who are supportive of your dreams, who constantly encourage you to do better and most importantly pray for you. Don’t get in the habit of hanging around people who show fake love, fake support, spread negativity, criticize you all the time, those who are jealous, don’t have any real life goals, constantly play the victim, who don’t care, are self-centered, always involved in drama & keep disappointing you. Those are toxic people you should just completely get rid of altogether. Never feel guilty about removing people like that from your life. It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend, new acquaintance, employer, romantic interest or family member!! You are allowed to terminate your relationship with toxic people! You are allowed to walk away from people who hurt you. Learn how to forgive and love people from a distance when it becomes necessary. Understand me when I say, “YOU DON’T OWE ANYONE AN EXPLANATION FOR TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF”. Love yourself enough to walk away from anything and anybody that no longer serves you growth and I’m serious! Last year, I finally learned how to start walking away from situations or people who threatened my peace of mind, self-respect or self-worth. I put a lot of distance between myself & those that I felt were becoming detrimental to my life and where I was trying to go.  I didn’t care if it meant me spending more time at home & less time on the phone. I knew that if I was going to have any chance at reaching any of my goals, being successful or get anywhere else in life besides where I was… I was going to have to make some changes concerning the people I chose to socialize with and invest my energy in period. As a result, my life has been more peaceful, a little less stressful and not only have I achieved SOME of the goals I set for myself but I also went way beyond them and I’m proud of that! I truly believe that your your inner circle can have an impact on your success. I’ll tell you right now, you are only going to be as good as the people you surround yourself with. So be brave enough to let go of those who keep weighing you down. The more you become aware of what’s really worth your energy, the better off you’ll be. Letting go of toxic people is not cruelty. It’s an act of self-care. Always Remember That !! ❤️

Does Social Media Really Ruin Relationships??

 

Absolutely not!

It really just boils down to people not knowing HOW to communicate. Too many people are letting “social media” ruin their relationships. Talk to your partner and stop letting inboxes, likes, and retweets ruin what you’re trying to build. Like seriously, this generation is nothing at all like the older generation. I suppose my grandparents stayed together simply because they didn’t have 2,000 other people following them or liking their pictures at their disposal when their marriage/relationship got hard. Nowadays, when most relationships hit the rocks, they just log onto social media and get high off this false sense of security and appreciation. Too many people value their worth based on comments, likes and inboxes filled with colorful words that have no depth whatsoever and that’s ridiculous. Getting social media involved when you and your partner aren’t seeing eye to eye only makes things worse, completely embarrasses your relationship and also puts a lot of unnecessary people in your business…

& Be careful about WHO you open up to and start telling your business to! Only a few people genuinely care. Trust me, I know. Been there done that. Not everyone wants to see you make it. Not everyone has your best interest at heart nor do they want to see you be successful whether it’s concerning your relationship, financial issues or other personal matters. Over time, I have learned that most people really don’t care. Some people have hidden motives, some are curious and some are just messy and enjoy having something to talk about! Don’t give folks that kind  of satisfaction when it comes to any of your personal issues, especially your marriage/relationship! I know whatever Me and MY Husband go through, we get through! So even when we’re not good… we’re good! 

Mini Me Motivation.. What Keeps You Going?

 

Well, I’ll tell you what motivates me and those are my babies! As cliché as it may sound, I’m serious… they have a lot to do with who I am today. I found courage to get out of an abusive and domestically violent relationship all off the strength of my first born son, RJ. Honestly, leaving that relationship was a hard thing for me to do because everything that I’d dealt with, I had become accustomed to & there was a little bit of fear in me each time I tried to leave but when RJ came in the picture my mindset began to change. He was the most precious thing I had ever laid eyes on and I knew I didn’t want to raise him up in that type of environment. Kids don’t ask to be here nor do they deserve that. Because of RJ, I found enough courage to leave shortly after he turned a year old. I finally came to terms with the fact that I DESERVED BETTER than what I was choosing to settle for and most importantly, my baby deserved the very best that I could give him. I moved back home with my dad to create a safer, calmer and happier environment for him. In the meantime, I worked to get back up on my feet & worked on some personal growth as well. A few months later, I started dating a different guy (who is now my Husband! We’ve been together for almost 6 years & so far married for almost 7 months!! He is nothing short of amazing might I add!) Anyway, I got pregnant by him during our very first year of dating. During my second pregnancy with my second son, Noah… I spent a lot of time thinking about my future and what I could do to improve it and make it better than what I had going on at that moment in my life. Of course, like most people I wanted to go back to college and finish what I’d started but at the time I couldn’t afford it, I didn’t have a very good support system & I also knew that I needed to be working somewhere and contributing bills along with my partner. I knew I didn’t want to work at a fast food restaurant and I dang sure wasn’t going back to a factory! Not that there’s anything wrong with working in either one of those job fields, I just felt like they weren’t for me and I refused to settle for it. I knew I had to do something though and it had to be good. Taking care of one child is enough but to start taking care of two on top of bills and etc, I knew it would be expensive and I knew I had to have some sort of game plan! So I decided to take CNA classes and become a Certified Nursing Assistant! To you, it may not seem like much but for me… it was everything! It was the first time I felt like I had succeeded in something besides graduating high school. I was so proud of me! On top of that, I knew that having that certification meant I wouldn’t ever have to go back and work at a factory again or settle for minimum wage jobs simply because CNA’s are always in high demand! Whether it’s at a nursing home, clinic, or hospital they will always be in high demand. I don’t think I would’ve ever pushed myself that hard to achieve something like that if I had not gotten pregnant again. So to Noah, I will always be grateful for that motivation! I can honestly say, I’m a better person because of my kids. Not perfect but BETTER. I have a healthier lifestyle because of them. I make better choices because of them. The way I manage my money is improving somewhat because of them (haha). Even though I hate getting up & going to work everyday, I go because of them! I’m working hard now so I can help set them up for success later in the future. I have more self-control because of my children. I respond differently now to certain things, situations & people that upset me. I’m not about that drama life because I’m about THEIR LIFE! See, when you have kids, you gotta move a different kind of way. I’ve learned to be selective in my battles. Sometimes, PEACE is definitely better than being right!! I’ve had to fight through some rough days, painful situations & sad nights during my 26 years of living and sometimes I feel like the main reason I’ve pushed on through them all was weighing on the strength of my two babies and that’s real. I got pregnant with both of my kids out of wedlock and yes, a lot of people frowned on that and tried to be judgmental but you know what… GOD knew what He was doing when he gave me my two boys & ultimately, HE is the one that I will forever be grateful to for that!! God truly had a purpose for my life before I ever had a plan for myself & my babies… they were clearly apart of His plan 🙂

So, what is it that keeps you motivated? What is it that keeps you going from day to day? Drop some comments & let me know! I love hearing other people’s stories, testimonies and things of that nature. I find most of them inspiring 🙂 Also, feel free to follow my page! It’s totally free and doesn’t cost anything. All you have to do is click the follow button, enter your email, and then confirm your subscription to my page through your email to get an update every time I post! T H A N K S for tuning in with me today! Hope you come back!!