It is so important to leave people in the season that God intended for them to be a part of. Seasons naturally change in our lives just like the weather and it’s inevitable. Have you ever tried to put a fallen leaf back on the tree it fell from? It is impossible to reconnect and reobtain growth. Same way with people who no longer serve purpose in our lives and I promise if you ask God to show you who needs to fall, He will. I was just saying this yesterday and I’m going to say it again today .. Not everyone can go to the next level with you. When God is taking you to that next level, there’s NOT going to be room for everyone on that journey. Be able to accept that. Not everyone can always enter the space you’re called to. Be OK with that and go anyways! Love from a distance when it becomes necessary and transition into your new season.
This post was inspired by a beautiful heart, Montana Danielle as well as when I was going through my own season of learning to love people from a distance or just simply learning to love them where they were.
There will be a natural process of elimination that occurs on your journey. You have to pay attention to what’s happening in your life and don’t try to interrupt the process. People will show up and show their true colors and you have to respond accordingly. You may have to cut off some people whom you’ve considered friends. You may have to cut off some family members. Anyone who is toxic and refuses to grow and change must be left behind until they are ready to catch up. There will always be separation before elevation. Be ready for it and the natural occur.
– Tony A. Gaskins Jr.
Just a little encouragement for you that also inspired me! Thanks for visiting my blog!! You’re company here is always appreciated 🙂
“God will INTENTIONALLY allow the people you want to be in your life, to be a let down in every way possible to help you recognize His plans do NOT include them. We end up making ourselves miserable by hanging on to the very little parts of them that make us comfortable and ignoring the negative all because we do not want to release them to move on without us. Letting go may cause a TEMPORARY discomfort but forfeiting God’s plans for you are not worth it. Trust me when I say “just do it”. You will understand it better by and by.
Self care sometimes means making peace with your past and changing your number. Some people just no longer need access to your life nor should you leave any room for them to think they do. We will never move forward into God’s promises if we keep stringing along people we we were supposed to have dropped off a long time ago. Don’t become your own hinderance.”💛 – Montana Danielle
These beautiful words were written by one of my Facebook friends but I was particularly inspired to share it here on my blog to encourage those men and women out there in toxic relationships to move on and let go! I know that’s much easier said than done. It’s never easy for a good person to walk away; especially after you’ve invested so much of yourself into making it work. I know it’s hard. I’ve already been there and done that but you want to know what I learned? Sometimes it’s not about having the strength to hold on, but it’s about having the courage to let go. Trust that God has a better plan down the road. I know I did and now I’m blessed more than I could ever put into words. I love my Husband with everything in me and it feels to good to know, see and feel that same love being reciprocated !!
If you are going through high-highs, low-lows, desperation, self-loathing, vindication, relief, depression and confusion, I have a message for you: Love doesn’t feel like this. It doesn’t feel like what you’ve been putting up with. Praying for you and your strength to let go and move on!!
Today I want to talk about why Date Night is SO important for Married Couples !! This past weekend, My Husband & I went out to celebrate his 28 years of life .. YAY !! Another Birthday, Another Blessing!! That’s what’s inspiring this post. We had SO much FUN!! It was just a fun and very relaxing weekend overall. It was a very much needed and break from the daily demands of being a parent or even an adult for that matter. During my work hours today, I found myself smiling and thinking about how much of a good time we really had and in that moment I was also reminded of how important date night really is, especially for married couples.
It is so easy to get caught up in the duties of everyday life. If you’re a parent then you know how busy the daily tasks of parenting are. If you work crazy hours everyday, then you understand. If you’re a student that’s gone back to college, then it’s possible to get entirely too busy with that too! It’s not always intentional but often times married couples tend to forget to make time for each other. They get so busy with life that eventually their marriage or relationship seems to no longer be a top priority and that alone could result in boredom and that’s the last thing you want to be dealing with. So, in my opinion, Date Night is absolutely essential for a healthy marriage and down below are 3 important reasons why I feel that way!
It’s important to spice things up and have new adventures. Sometimes it’s scary doing things outside of your comfort zone but it’s also super exciting and a little dare devilish when you can do it with someone you’re actually comfortable with! Keeping the excitement alive also gives you an opportunity to bond and create so many new memories!! It also helps you build trust with one another and support as well as you find new differences 🙂 The excitement aspect of date night keeps you young and fun in spirit no matter how old you are or how long you’ve been together!!
Keeping an open line of communication is essential to a healthy marriage or any relationship at all. I feel like date night encourages positive communication. It’s the perfect time to remind your spouse of how much you love and care about them. A few nice, loving, and kind words go a long way in marriage. It really does more for your partner than you will ever actually know. Plus, the more you sit there and chat, the more likely you are to remember why you fell in love in the first place. That’s not the only type of communication that needs to happen on date night though. It’s perfectly okay and healthy to talk and catch up on how things are going in your life whether it’s at school, work, parenting or whatever but I would definitely avoid talking about anything that’s going to stress your partner out and ruin the night. Don’t do that.
This is that part of marriage that a lot of people don’t like to talk about but I’m gonna say this – Sex is not the most important part of a marriage or relationship but it does play a pretty big role!! It’s such a beautiful level of intimacy especially when you’re sharing it with your soulmate. However, when you fail to satisfy your partners sexual needs, then you also open the door for boredom and unfaithfulness. That’s an awful thing for me to say but that’s just the type of world and generation we live and it’s the truth! Again, life gets busy and that’s understandable but you do need to make sure you’re keeping the sex drive alive! Date Night is a G R E A T time to this type of fun happen!! I’m just saying lol. If you don’t have time any other time then you be sure to make time for it on date night!
I’m sure there are many reasons as to why “Date Night” is important but these are my top three. I was just sitting here earlier thinking about how good of time my husband and I had this past weekend and it made think of other people who are in relationships, especially marriages and are having issues due to boredom. It’s sad and I’m just thankful that boredom isn’t a problem for us but I did want to share what I hope can be some helpful tips to anyone who’s looking for them! 🙂 My husband and I don’t get to have Date Night very often due to the fact that we don’t have a very good support system when it comes to babysitters so we’ve learned how to make time for each through the week and that’s always fun but it’s nothing compared to actually getting out of the house and being active together!! I love literally every second of it. I hope you enjoyed this post today! I know it’s a little off topic from what I’ve been posting over the past month or two but I warned you in my “Welcome” .. I will talk about some of any and everything !! 🙂 I’m aiming to encourage personal growth in every aspect that I possibly can!!
“What you felt was a hurtful GOODBYE, has now made room for your FOREVER. You can love in the right way that no longer leaves your spirit behind. What came to cause confusion is now requiring you to build your CONFIDENCE. It does get better than this. You now know to embrace what may be deemed as failure as it only ushers in graduation. Because of God, you qualify for real, responsible and unconditional love. No longer will you allow anyone to temporarily occupy that spot as as an MVP in your life. Because when everyone left or treated you in an undeserving way, your MVP stayed close to you. God is loving you through your hurt and pain. So it’s time to let it all go… the tears and the fighting make room for a love that will shine even when the sun no longer lights up the day and the moon no longer lights up the night. Start loving on yourself. Heal from the heartbreak so you can move on into the next chapter of your life.” -Tatiana Jerome
I felt every word Tatiana said in the passage above and just reading it almost brought tears to my eyes. I’ve experienced a heartbreak like this one that she’s strongly trying to encourage people to heal from. Six years ago, I left the most toxic relationship I’d ever been in. I was in it four years too long. Leaving wasn’t easy.. In fact, it was very hard. I think somehow I had gotten use to and comfortable with all of the mental and physical abuse.. all the lying, cheating and disappointment.. it’s like I’d somehow become numb to it. I just made myself deal with it the best way I could but today I can say that I am so grateful for God answering prayers and giving me the strength and courage to go! Getting pregnant out of wedlock is such a sin to some people but for me it was a blessing and I honestly think my child helped save my life.
I made up in my mind that my baby didn’t deserve to live in an enviroment like the one I was settling for and if I wanted to give him a real chance of having a happy and healthy life, I had to go!! It took a lot of time, self-love, prayer and a great deal of encouragement from certain people in my corner to actually heal from all that I’d gone through in those four years of being with that person. The healing process of it hurt like hell but now I can look back and see how it was all just worth it!
Going through all of that was so hard. I’ll admit, I was scared of being lonely. I scared of raising my child with no father figure in his life. The thought of living the single parent life was a little frightening for me.. even though I watched MY Mom do it for 12 years, I just knew that was not the life I wanted to live!! I had my moments of sadness because I didn’t think no other man would ever want me mostly because I couldn’t bring much to the table at the time. I was pretty hard on myself. My self-esteem took a major hit but man.. I Thank God for G R O W T H !!
Now I can really look back and say, everything that I went through grew me in so many different ways and on so many different levels!! You have no idea how hard I have fought to become the woman I am today. When I say it has taken A LOT of love and pain to get here.. that is what I mean!! And let me tell you something.. God has been faithful !! He has given me EVERYTHING plus some that I prayed and asked Him for during that process of healing and rebuilding myself.
So to everyone who is still struggling through the healing process of the break up – keep telling yourself that things are going to work out even when you don’t know how. Keep loving on you! Keep trusting in the fact that God has it under control and most of all.. believe over everything else that all you have been through is shaping and molding you into the person you are destined to be!! Your positive attitude and optimism will start to change everything that’s happening in your life for the better. There will be a sudden shift because you decided not to give up. Despite the pain, you kept pushing and fighting for better !! Don’t quit because YOU DESERVE BETTER. YOU DESERVE THE BEST.
I know this post is a little lengthy so I’m about to end it. I just wanted to encourage you on today if you’re dealing with this struggle. Remember, self love and self healing is an ongoing process. It’s not something you do for a season and then it’s over. When you establish that healthy and loving relationship with yourself then you set the tone for EVERY other relationship in your life!!
P.S – just in case no one told you today.. I LOVE YOU!! Keep your chin up 🙂 xx!