“God will INTENTIONALLY allow the people you want to be in your life, to be a let down in every way possible to help you recognize His plans do NOT include them. We end up making ourselves miserable by hanging on to the very little parts of them that make us comfortable and ignoring the negative all because we do not want to release them to move on without us. Letting go may cause a TEMPORARY discomfort but forfeiting God’s plans for you are not worth it. Trust me when I say “just do it”. You will understand it better by and by.
Self care sometimes means making peace with your past and changing your number. Some people just no longer need access to your life nor should you leave any room for them to think they do. We will never move forward into God’s promises if we keep stringing along people we we were supposed to have dropped off a long time ago. Don’t become your own hinderance.”💛 – Montana Danielle
These beautiful words were written by one of my Facebook friends but I was particularly inspired to share it here on my blog to encourage those men and women out there in toxic relationships to move on and let go! I know that’s much easier said than done. It’s never easy for a good person to walk away; especially after you’ve invested so much of yourself into making it work. I know it’s hard. I’ve already been there and done that but you want to know what I learned? Sometimes it’s not about having the strength to hold on, but it’s about having the courage to let go. Trust that God has a better plan down the road. I know I did and now I’m blessed more than I could ever put into words. I love my Husband with everything in me and it feels to good to know, see and feel that same love being reciprocated !!
If you are going through high-highs, low-lows, desperation, self-loathing, vindication, relief, depression and confusion, I have a message for you: Love doesn’t feel like this. It doesn’t feel like what you’ve been putting up with. Praying for you and your strength to let go and move on!!
Be ye reminded; YOU get to make daily decisions about who and what deserves access to YOU !! Now that you are reminded of what fresh air feels and smells like, you have no reason to stay in anything toxic or go back to it. Just because you’re at peace doesn’t mean they’re not still toxic. No one has to understand your positive changes. As a matter of fact, don’t ever feel bad about changing for the better. Others will have you question your change but those who love you will encourage your improvement for knowing your worth and valuing yourself.
Remember, it can’t be in your space if it isn’t making you money, growing you, loving you, or giving you peace. If it doesn’t give you good vibes then kindly walk away from it. The more you distance yourself from negativity, the more you’ll see amazing things start to happen. Keep taking care of you. Be protective over your peace and always keep in the back of your mind that happiness is a choice just like being positive is a choice. I’m a biggie on self-care and this is just one of those aspects of it that I will always remind you of just as I continue to remind myself! 💕
Just thought I’d drop a little encouragement in your spirit today! (: I hope you all are having a great, fun and safe weekend!!
You just CAN’T help everybody! As disheartening as it is, sometimes you just have to let people learn the hard way. Even though you love them & really care .. I have found that in some cases it is better for you to fall back and let them figure out or work out whatever situation it is that they’re dealing with by themselves. It’s hurtful to watch the person you love keep going in the same circles of sadness, pain and failure. It’s even harder when that person keeps coming to you about what’s hurting them wanting to vent and looking for solutions.. only to turn around & go right back into the same mess day in and day out. It’s almost like a burden because eventually you start feeling like you’re carrying some of the weight of their pain. Even though they don’t ask you to carry that pain nor do they mean for you to, it just comes kind of natural when you genuinely have a good heart. It means you really care. After a while though, it becomes emotionally draining because you’re constantly trying to help this person, make them feel better, help find solutions and it gets frustrating because after you’ve done all of that – they continuously go right back to what’s hurting them. I don’t understand. It’s like “Mannn, do they really want help or do they just want attention!?!” or at least that’s one of the thoughts that run through my head anyway. I know that probably sounded mean but I’m just keeping it real. The same way people will stress you out and drive you crazy with their drama and foolish antics is the same way they can stress you out and drain you emotionally with their problems. Now don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. I’m not telling you to turn a deaf ear or a cold shoulder to people who are in need of help or advice. That’s not cool. I’m not that kind of person. I love people and I love helping & encouraging as much as I can but I’ve learned that you gotta know when to step back and say “enough is enough”! If you can’t actually help them with what they’re going through, then you it’s time to consider redirecting them to someone who can or pointing them in that direction. Now whether they go get the help or not is on them but when they’re truly ready to come out of that situation then they’ll do and take the necessary steps to getting it done. You can want “better” for someone all day long but until they want it for themselves.. it means nothing.
Something my mama used to tell me all the time when I was younger & I’ll never forget it.. she said, “You are NOBODY’S trash can!” meaning you don’t have to be the one that everyone dumps their problems on. Funny how her words came flowing back to me while I’m typing this post! She’s right though!! It’s good to have a good heart but don’t let people take advantage of it. If you don’t watch it, people will suck the positive energy right out of you to fuel their hunger for negativity and leave you drained, exhausted & unhappy. There is no reason to allow their problems to become yours. Protect both your peace and spirit from contamination. Know when to say enough is enough & love yourself enough to take the actions required for your happiness.
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“Treat Yo Self!”
Sometimes we get so busy with life and taking care of others that we forget about ourselves and doing things that make us happy. Make yourself a priority every once in a while. It’s not selfish, it’s NECESSARY!!
“EAT THE CUPCAKE BOO!”
So many people are hard on themselves about body image and following strict diets. Quick Reminder Though: Sexy is not a size, every calorie is not a war & your body is not a battleground. Your value is not measured in pounds. You are just as beautiful as any other woman! So with that being said.. Relax & just eat the cupcake! It won’t hurt to have one every now and then!
“Be Kind To Yourself”
Like seriously, you will never speak to anyone else as much as you speak to yourself in your own head. Self Encouragement is so important and sometimes very critical. This is both a form of self love & self care! I’ve learned that you can’t always depend on other people to be there & encourage you when you’re at your lowest. Most times, people don’t know all that you really go through or what daily battles you’re fighting. Sometimes, you just have to encourage yourself! Sometimes you have to speak victory over yourself and your circumstances. There’s power in the words you speak. Keep good thoughts & a good spirit. The things you say & believe manifest quicker than you think! Pep talks are a great way to encourage yourself by the way. Sometimes, I do it in front of a mirror and sometimes I do it while I’m driving. “Girl, you’re beautiful. You’ve been through so much and because of it, you’re a stronger person! You’re a great mommy and even though you don’t think you’re doing a good job today, your kids still think the world of you! To them, baby you hung the moon and because of that you have to keep pushing! You have a big heart and you’re real hustler with great ambitions & etc..” I talk to myself all the time about everything and keep myself lifted as much as possible! Call me crazy if you want haha but it works and if you’ve never done this before you should definitely give it a try!!
“PROTECT YOUR PEACE!!”
Protect your peace & I mean that! People will drive you crazy and literally stress you out if you let them. You can’t function properly when you’re stressed. You can’t be the parent, spouse, child, sibling, employee or friend you need to be when you’re under a lot of stress. You just can’t. Always remember to take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup!
“STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS”
Listen, God didn’t ask you to be them. He asked you to be YOU! Stop comparing yourself to other people and what they have. What God has for you, will always be for you! Instead, learn how to cheer & be happy for other people in their winning season and have faith in the fact that when it’s your time to shine.. God got you!!
If you show yourself love daily, then today just added a bonus! Love on you til you’re filled. 🙂 Don’t forget to like, share or subscribe if you enjoy this post or any of the other posts on my site!! 🙂
In this season of my life, I’m learning the power of loving from a distance. It is not necessary to rebuild a relationship with everyone you’ve forgiven. It’s really not. Just because you’re at peace doesn’t mean they’re still not toxic. When you get tired of being of stressed out, depressed, angry and unhappy all the time eventually you begin craving peace and once you get a taste of that… you’ll see that there’s nothing like it. Peace of Mind… I know once I get mine, I’ll do almost anything to keep it! Sometimes, it’s a hard thing to obtain and even harder to keep if you’re not careful about who and what you spend your time around. I have found it to be hard putting distance between myself and certain people; especially those you’re supposed to be close to… like family members for example. Family or not though, it doesn’t matter who they are, if they’re bringing you down or causing you stress then it becomes necessary to create some distance. When you’re really on a mission to be successful in life, even if the goal is something as simple as obtaining that “peace of mind” you’ll begin to see how important it is to eliminate any negativity. And let me explain something, just because you love from a distance doesn’t mean you don’t care, don’t support, and just completely shut people out of your life. It just means you finally love yourself enough to walk away from things and people that no longer serve you growth. You love and respect yourself enough to start surrounding yourself with people who support you & genuinely love/care about you instead of being around those who find pleasure in pushing your buttons. When you respect yourself enough to say, “I DESERVE PEACE” and walk away from situations or people that prevent you from attaining it, you’ll see your life begin to change drastically… for the better! You’ll be much happier, less stressed and healthier !! 🙂