You Can’t Help Everybody!

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Lesson Learned!

You just CAN’T help everybody! As disheartening as it is, sometimes you just have to let people learn the hard way. Even though you love them & really care .. I have found that in some cases it is better for you to fall back and let them figure out or work out whatever situation it is that they’re dealing with by themselves. It’s hurtful to watch the person you love keep going in the same circles of sadness, pain and failure. It’s even harder when that person keeps coming to you about what’s hurting them wanting to vent and looking for solutions.. only to turn around & go right back into the same mess day in and day out. It’s almost like a burden because eventually you start feeling like you’re carrying some of the weight of their pain. Even though they don’t ask you to carry that pain nor do they mean for you to, it just comes kind of natural when you genuinely have a good heart. It means you really care. After a while though,  it becomes emotionally draining because you’re constantly trying to help this person, make them feel better, help find solutions and it gets frustrating because after you’ve done all of that – they continuously go right back to what’s hurting them. I don’t understand. It’s like “Mannn, do they really want help or do they just want attention!?!” or at least that’s one of the thoughts that run through my head anyway. I know that probably sounded mean but I’m just keeping it real. The same way people will stress you out and drive you crazy with their drama and foolish antics is the same way they can stress you out and drain you emotionally with their problems. Now don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. I’m not telling you to turn a deaf ear or a cold shoulder to people who are in need of help or advice. That’s not cool. I’m not that kind of person. I love people and I love helping & encouraging as much as I can but I’ve learned that you gotta know when to step back and say “enough is enough”! If you can’t actually help them with what they’re going through, then you it’s time to consider redirecting them to someone who can or pointing them in that direction. Now whether they go get the help or not is on them but when they’re truly ready to come out of that situation then they’ll do and take the necessary steps to getting it done. You can want “better” for someone all day long but until they want it for themselves.. it means nothing. 

Something my mama used to tell me all the time when I was younger & I’ll never forget it.. she said, “You are NOBODY’S trash can!” meaning you don’t have to be the one that everyone dumps their problems on. Funny how her words came flowing back to me while I’m typing this post! She’s right though!! It’s good to have a good heart but don’t let people take advantage of it. If you don’t watch it, people will suck the positive energy right out of you to fuel their hunger for negativity and leave you drained, exhausted & unhappy. There is no reason to allow their problems to become yours. Protect both your peace and spirit from contamination. Know when to say enough is enough & love yourself enough to take the actions required for your happiness. 

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What Drains My Energy and How I’ve Reduced It!😉😊

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“Maybe you’re low on energy because you’ve been giving your time towards meaningless things. The people, convos, jobs, relationships, habits, foods just aren’t feeding you.” -Tatiana Jerome

This is so true!🙌 Sometimes we give entirely too much time & attention to the wrong things, people and even problems. Not only is it energy draining but in some cases it can be emotionally draining too. Over the past few months, I’ve been on a mission to regain my sense of “self-peace” back & along the way, I have discovered that there is truly power in loving people from a distance. As a result of putting that back into action, I’ve noticed that I’m not nearly as stressed anymore and I feel free more than ever now to actually focus on my own dreams, goals and other things I’m in the process of trying to accomplish. Loving people from a distance doesn’t mean that you don’t still love & care about them or support them. Loving from a distance doesn’t mean you’re cutting people completely out of your life either. It just simply means that you’re giving them the space and time to get their minds right before you let them back into your life. Some people can be so toxic and not only people but also meaningless things period. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again.. if you’re not careful, people will drive you crazy! They will stress you out & have you drained over things that really don’t have anything to do with you.

I’m more protective over my energy now! I’m protective over everything now actually when it comes to myself lol but in all seriousness, I’ve gotten to where if it doesn’t concern me, if it doesn’t contribute to reaching my goals/success or if it doesn’t benefit my growth in any kind of way.. I don’t too much fool with it anymore. It’s not that I’m acting funny; I’ve just realized that it’s a waste of time for me to be getting caught up in everybody else’s business and other unnecessary things that don’t really require my attention. Sometimes you have to back away from certain conversations and just remember “You’ve got stuff to do.” More action, less talk. Remember, YOU get to make daily decisions about who and what deserves access to you!! Don’t ever forget that. No one has to understand your positive changes. Do what’s best for you. 💞

xoxo, Jessica!

 

10 Ways to Treat Yo Self w/o Spending Money!!

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  • Take a nap!! 

You’re never too old for naps !! If you’re not a napping type of person then just lay there & relax. Enjoy the peace and quiet.

  • Take a Bubble Bath!!

Take a long bubble bath!! R E L A X.. dim the lights, enjoy you a nice glass of wine & some music. I don’t get to do this as often as I would like to but when I do… I love it! 

  • Netflix & Chill

Catch up on some of your favorite netflix series/movies and enjoy indulging in one of your favorite snacks!

  • Exercise/Workout

I don’t know about you but exercising helps me relieve a lot of stress. I don’t necessarily mean lifting weights either. Yoga, walking and dance workout dvds get the job done and it’s also fun!!

  • Read a Book!!

Find you a good book inspirational book to read and spend time doing that! I’ll be honest with you, I’m not very big on reading unless it’s a really really good book! I mean, this book has to catch my attention within the first 5-10 pages or I’m done with it haha but when I do get my hands on a good book, it’s hard to put it down! 

  • Take a Day Off & Do Absolutely NOTHING!!

I mean that! Don’t fix your hands to do anything that requires you to do any kind of work. This is one of those forms of self-care that everyone needs to put into action every once in a while. As a matter of fact, I did this yesterday when I got home from work.. NOTHING! I had an awful day yesterday! In fact, it was so bad that all I really wanted to do was come in and just kind of be in my own world. I didn’t cook, clean, do laundry, dishes.. nothing and it felt good! I thank God for my Husband though. He understood how my day went and did a lot to take the load off my shoulders so I wouldn’t have to worry about it. Gosh, I love him!

  • Go Visit A Friend!

This is something quite fun to do! If you’re anything like me.. busy all the time in every aspect of life then you really don’t get to enjoy quality time with your friends as often as you’d like to but every now and then, it’s good to set time aside to go kick it with a friend! There’s nothing like catching up with close friends and enjoying A LOT of laughs together! I laugh so hard at my friends most of the time I’m with them. They really have a way of taking my mind off of anything that’s stressing me out without even knowing that I’m stressed or why! haha. They’re the real MVPS lol

  • Have Sex!

No explanation needed here haha! 

  • Journaling Time!

Writing is a great way to vent about any and everything! I don’t have a journal though. I blog and that’s where I vent for the most part.. whatever I’m not talking my Husband’s head off about, you can almost bet your bottom dollar that I’m writing about it! haha, I write til I feel better and when writing doesn’t help, I pray! To me, writing is also another form of relaxation and self care!! Sometimes, writing is like therapy. It’s just a way to get any tension, hurt or hate out of your heart. 

  • Back Roads!! 

Okay, this one you might have to spend a few dollars on if your gas tank is sitting on empty but maaaan, I love me some back roads!! Ya know, really.. I just love driving and listening to music period! If you are ever in the car with me and I’m driving and I’M in control of the music… just get ready for a mini concert because I be singing my little heart out! haha. No, I don’t think I can sing for real but I can hold a tune!! Anyways, let me stay on topic here.. back roads and music is so relaxing. I love it, especially when I start jamming to my favorite gospel songs. It’s like I go into worship right there in my car and just relaxing. I don’t any other way to describe it but if you’ve never done it before, you should give it a try! 

 

I really hope you enjoyed reading this post and I hope that some of these tips help you out. Remember.. TREAT YO SELF!! Take time to care about you. Stop trying to be superwoman/superman all the time. You’re just as much human as the rest of us and sometimes you need a break or at least time to relax!! Don’t forget to like, comment, share or subscribe to my site if you liked this post or any of my other posts!! 🙂 

 

 

Hello March!! Goals for the next 31 days.

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“Spend More Time With Jesus”

This is just something that I need to do a better job at period. Sometimes, I’ll do good reading my bible and spending some time in prayer everyday and then after a while.. I get very inconsistent with it. I don’t know why but I need to improve my consistency. I’m going to work on spending time with God around the exact same time EVERYDAY and not just when I feel like it. I believe if I can find balance with that, I’ll do better. 

 

Drink More Water!”

Okay, so this one.. I might struggle with! As much as I LOVEEE my Sprites and slushes from Sonic, I know I need to give them  a rest. Sometimes I like water and sometimes I don’t. Even though I know water is healthy.. I still have a love/hate relationship with it. However, there are many benefits to drinking water!! It increases energy & relieves fatigue, promotes weight loss, flushes out toxins, improves skin complexion, boosts immune system and prevents cramps and sprains. So with that being said, I’m going to do better!! So far, I’ve gotten in the habit of drinking water all day while I’m at work. I wait to drink everything else later in the evening when I’m eating dinner. I’m not sure if that defeats the purpose or not but it’s a start!

 

“Work on Shutting Down Conversations That Aim To Tear Down Other People”

Uh ohh.. this is a big one!! It is so easy to get caught up in conversations of gossip. It’s easy to fall into the trap of talking about negative things, problems, disappointments and struggles, especially when it’s about someone else. Don’t act like you’re not guilty of it. We’ve all done it. Whether it’s you that starts the conversation or someone else.. it is so easy to get on the subject of other people’s business instead of focusing on the POSITIVE things that they have going on or solutions for their problems. WE gotta do better. Yes, I’m talking about me too! We gotta work on speaking more words of encouragement that will build people up and make them feel better instead of tearing them down. We get many opportunities everyday to put this into practice, but it requires real discipline and determination. 

 

Yes I know, I didn’t set A LOT of goals.. but that’s just how I am. I like to set small realistic goals for myself and work on reaching them first before I set way too many just to end up feeling unaccomplished. It’s just easier that way for me 🙂 Do you have any personal goals for the month of March? Feel free to share them with me! I would love the inspiration! Oh & don’t forget to like, comment, share or subscribe to my site if you liked this post or any of my other posts!! Thank you guys!! All support is appreciated more than you will ever know!

 

Self Love Is The BEST Love. Love On You Til You’re Filled!!

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“Treat Yo Self!” 

Sometimes we get so busy with life and taking care of others that we forget about ourselves and doing things that make us happy. Make yourself a priority every once in a while. It’s not selfish, it’s NECESSARY!! 

 

“EAT THE CUPCAKE BOO!” 

So many people are hard on themselves about body image and following strict diets. Quick Reminder Though: Sexy is not a size, every calorie is not a war & your body is not a battleground. Your value is not measured in pounds. You are just as beautiful as any other woman! So with that being said.. Relax & just eat the cupcake! It won’t hurt to have one every now and then!

 

“Be Kind To Yourself” 

Like seriously, you will never speak to anyone else as much as you speak to yourself in your own head. Self Encouragement is so important and sometimes very critical. This is both a form of self love & self care! I’ve learned that you can’t always depend on other people to be there & encourage you when you’re at your lowest. Most times, people don’t know all that you really go through or what daily battles you’re fighting. Sometimes, you just have to encourage yourself! Sometimes you have to speak victory over yourself and your circumstances. There’s power in the words you speak. Keep good thoughts & a good spirit. The things you say & believe manifest quicker than you think! Pep talks are a great way to encourage yourself by the way.  Sometimes, I do it in front of a mirror and sometimes I do it while I’m driving. “Girl, you’re beautiful. You’ve been through so much and because of it, you’re a stronger person! You’re a great mommy and even though you don’t think you’re doing a good job today, your kids still think the world of you! To them, baby you hung the moon and because of that you have to keep pushing! You have a big heart and you’re real hustler with great ambitions & etc..” I talk to myself all the time about everything and keep myself lifted as much as possible! Call me crazy if you want haha but it works and if you’ve never done this before you should definitely give it a try!!

 

“PROTECT YOUR PEACE!!” 

Protect your peace & I mean that! People will drive you crazy and literally stress you out if you let them. You can’t function properly when you’re stressed. You can’t be the parent, spouse, child, sibling, employee or friend you need to be when you’re under a lot of stress. You just can’t. Always remember to take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup!

 

“STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS”

Listen, God didn’t ask you to be them. He asked you to be YOU! Stop comparing yourself to other people and what they have. What God has for you, will always be for you! Instead, learn how to cheer & be happy for other people in their winning season and have faith in the fact that when it’s your time to shine.. God got you!! 

 

If you show yourself love daily, then today just added a bonus! Love on you til you’re filled. 🙂  Don’t forget to like, share or subscribe if you enjoy this post or any of the other posts on my site!! 🙂