“What you felt was a hurtful GOODBYE, has now made room for your FOREVER. You can love in the right way that no longer leaves your spirit behind. What came to cause confusion is now requiring you to build your CONFIDENCE. It does get better than this. You now know to embrace what may be deemed as failure as it only ushers in graduation. Because of God, you qualify for real, responsible and unconditional love. No longer will you allow anyone to temporarily occupy that spot as as an MVP in your life. Because when everyone left or treated you in an undeserving way, your MVP stayed close to you. God is loving you through your hurt and pain. So it’s time to let it all go… the tears and the fighting make room for a love that will shine even when the sun no longer lights up the day and the moon no longer lights up the night. Start loving on yourself. Heal from the heartbreak so you can move on into the next chapter of your life.” -Tatiana Jerome
I felt every word Tatiana said in the passage above and just reading it almost brought tears to my eyes. I’ve experienced a heartbreak like this one that she’s strongly trying to encourage people to heal from. Six years ago, I left the most toxic relationship I’d ever been in. I was in it four years too long. Leaving wasn’t easy.. In fact, it was very hard. I think somehow I had gotten use to and comfortable with all of the mental and physical abuse.. all the lying, cheating and disappointment.. it’s like I’d somehow become numb to it. I just made myself deal with it the best way I could but today I can say that I am so grateful for God answering prayers and giving me the strength and courage to go! Getting pregnant out of wedlock is such a sin to some people but for me it was a blessing and I honestly think my child helped save my life.
I made up in my mind that my baby didn’t deserve to live in an enviroment like the one I was settling for and if I wanted to give him a real chance of having a happy and healthy life, I had to go!! It took a lot of time, self-love, prayer and a great deal of encouragement from certain people in my corner to actually heal from all that I’d gone through in those four years of being with that person. The healing process of it hurt like hell but now I can look back and see how it was all just worth it!
Going through all of that was so hard. I’ll admit, I was scared of being lonely. I scared of raising my child with no father figure in his life. The thought of living the single parent life was a little frightening for me.. even though I watched MY Mom do it for 12 years, I just knew that was not the life I wanted to live!! I had my moments of sadness because I didn’t think no other man would ever want me mostly because I couldn’t bring much to the table at the time. I was pretty hard on myself. My self-esteem took a major hit but man.. I Thank God for G R O W T H !!
Now I can really look back and say, everything that I went through grew me in so many different ways and on so many different levels!! You have no idea how hard I have fought to become the woman I am today. When I say it has taken A LOT of love and pain to get here.. that is what I mean!! And let me tell you something.. God has been faithful !! He has given me EVERYTHING plus some that I prayed and asked Him for during that process of healing and rebuilding myself.
So to everyone who is still struggling through the healing process of the break up – keep telling yourself that things are going to work out even when you don’t know how. Keep loving on you! Keep trusting in the fact that God has it under control and most of all.. believe over everything else that all you have been through is shaping and molding you into the person you are destined to be!! Your positive attitude and optimism will start to change everything that’s happening in your life for the better. There will be a sudden shift because you decided not to give up. Despite the pain, you kept pushing and fighting for better !! Don’t quit because YOU DESERVE BETTER. YOU DESERVE THE BEST.
I know this post is a little lengthy so I’m about to end it. I just wanted to encourage you on today if you’re dealing with this struggle. Remember, self love and self healing is an ongoing process. It’s not something you do for a season and then it’s over. When you establish that healthy and loving relationship with yourself then you set the tone for EVERY other relationship in your life!!
P.S – just in case no one told you today.. I LOVE YOU!! Keep your chin up 🙂 xx!