You just CAN’T help everybody! As disheartening as it is, sometimes you just have to let people learn the hard way. Even though you love them & really care .. I have found that in some cases it is better for you to fall back and let them figure out or work out whatever situation it is that they’re dealing with by themselves. It’s hurtful to watch the person you love keep going in the same circles of sadness, pain and failure. It’s even harder when that person keeps coming to you about what’s hurting them wanting to vent and looking for solutions.. only to turn around & go right back into the same mess day in and day out. It’s almost like a burden because eventually you start feeling like you’re carrying some of the weight of their pain. Even though they don’t ask you to carry that pain nor do they mean for you to, it just comes kind of natural when you genuinely have a good heart. It means you really care. After a while though, it becomes emotionally draining because you’re constantly trying to help this person, make them feel better, help find solutions and it gets frustrating because after you’ve done all of that – they continuously go right back to what’s hurting them. I don’t understand. It’s like “Mannn, do they really want help or do they just want attention!?!” or at least that’s one of the thoughts that run through my head anyway. I know that probably sounded mean but I’m just keeping it real. The same way people will stress you out and drive you crazy with their drama and foolish antics is the same way they can stress you out and drain you emotionally with their problems. Now don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. I’m not telling you to turn a deaf ear or a cold shoulder to people who are in need of help or advice. That’s not cool. I’m not that kind of person. I love people and I love helping & encouraging as much as I can but I’ve learned that you gotta know when to step back and say “enough is enough”! If you can’t actually help them with what they’re going through, then you it’s time to consider redirecting them to someone who can or pointing them in that direction. Now whether they go get the help or not is on them but when they’re truly ready to come out of that situation then they’ll do and take the necessary steps to getting it done. You can want “better” for someone all day long but until they want it for themselves.. it means nothing.
Something my mama used to tell me all the time when I was younger & I’ll never forget it.. she said, “You are NOBODY’S trash can!” meaning you don’t have to be the one that everyone dumps their problems on. Funny how her words came flowing back to me while I’m typing this post! She’s right though!! It’s good to have a good heart but don’t let people take advantage of it. If you don’t watch it, people will suck the positive energy right out of you to fuel their hunger for negativity and leave you drained, exhausted & unhappy. There is no reason to allow their problems to become yours. Protect both your peace and spirit from contamination. Know when to say enough is enough & love yourself enough to take the actions required for your happiness.
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