A Push to Help You Heal from Heartbreak.πŸ’”

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“What you felt was a hurtful GOODBYE, has now made room for your FOREVER. You can love in the right way that no longer leaves your spirit behind. What came to cause confusion is now requiring you to build your CONFIDENCE. It does get better than this. You now know to embrace what may be deemed as failure as it only ushers in graduation. Because of God, you qualify for real, responsible and unconditional love. No longer will you allow anyone to temporarily occupy that spot as as an MVP in your life. Because when everyone left or treated you in an undeserving way, your MVP stayed close to you. God is loving you through your hurt and pain. So it’s time to let it all go… the tears and the fighting make room for a love that will shine even when the sun no longer lights up the day and the moon no longer lights up the night. Start loving on yourself. Heal from the heartbreak so you can move on into the next chapter of your life.” -Tatiana Jerome

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I felt every word Tatiana said in the passage above and just reading it almost brought tears to my eyes. I’ve experienced a heartbreak like this one that she’s strongly trying to encourage people to heal from. Six years ago, I left the most toxic relationship I’d ever been in. I was in it four years too long. Leaving wasn’t easy.. In fact, it was very hard. I think somehow I had gotten use to and comfortable with all of the mental and physical abuse.. all the lying, cheating and disappointment.. it’s like I’d somehow become numb to it. I just made myself deal with it the best way I could but today I can say that I am so grateful for God answering prayers and giving me the strength and courage to go! Getting pregnant out of wedlock is such a sin to some people but for me it was a blessing and I honestly think my child helped save my life.
I made up in my mind that my baby didn’t deserve to live in an enviroment like the one I was settling for and if I wanted to give him a real chance of having a happy and healthy life, I had to go!! It took a lot of time, self-love, prayer and a great deal of encouragement from certain people in my corner to actually heal from all that I’d gone through in those four years of being with that person. The healing process of it hurt like hell but now I can look back and see how it was all just worth it!
Going through all of that was so hard. I’ll admit, I was scared of being lonely. I scared of raising my child with no father figure in his life. The thought of living the single parent life was a little frightening for me.. even though I watched MY Mom do it for 12 years, I just knew that was not the life I wanted to live!! I had my moments of sadness because I didn’t think no other man would ever want me mostly because I couldn’t bring much to the table at the time. I was pretty hard on myself. My self-esteem took a major hit but man.. I Thank God for G R O W T H !!
Now I can really look back and say, everything that I went through grew me in so many different ways and on so many different levels!! You have no idea how hard I have fought to become the woman I am today. When I say it has taken A LOT of love and pain to get here.. that is what I mean!! And let me tell you something.. God has been faithful !! He has given me EVERYTHING plus some that I prayed and asked Him for during that process of healing and rebuilding myself.
So to everyone who is still struggling through the healing process of the break up – keep telling yourself that things are going to work out even when you don’t know how. Keep loving on you! Keep trusting in the fact that God has it under control and most of all.. believe over everything else that all you have been through is shaping and molding you into the person you are destined to be!! Your positive attitude and optimism will start to change everything that’s happening in your life for the better. There will be a sudden shift because you decided not to give up. Despite the pain, you kept pushing and fighting for better !! Don’t quit because YOU DESERVE BETTER. YOU DESERVE THE BEST.
I know this post is a little lengthy so I’m about to end it. I just wanted to encourage you on today if you’re dealing with this struggle. Remember, self love and self healing is an ongoing process. It’s not something you do for a season and then it’s over. When you establish that healthy and loving relationship with yourself then you set the tone for EVERY other relationship in your life!!
P.S – just in case no one told you today.. I LOVE YOU!! Keep your chin up πŸ™‚ xx!
-jessica

4 Things I Do To Fight Depression!

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Depression is R E A L & one thing that I know about it is if you don’t fight it.. it will literally overtake you and eventually begin to control you! I believe everybody deals with depression and anxiety but on different levels. Some people know how to cope with it and keep it under control while some others have no clue and put up a struggle to fight it daily the best they can. I don’t know why I’ve been so heavy on this topic lately but it’s being weighing on my heart like crazy! One thing is sure though, even if I don’t understand it at the moment.. I know God doesn’t just put things on my heart for no reason at all. I consider myself to be a pretty strong person for the most part but every once in a while I have my emotional days of depression and if I’m not careful about how I fight it… then it just kind of settles in and tries to take over. So down below, I’ve shared about four different things that I do to prevent that from happening.

 

Music

I listen to gospel music! (Contemporary gospel to be exact.) This is something that people kind of make fun of me for but I don’t care. I’ve never cared. I like what I like and other peoples opinions on this is something that has never been able to shy me away from it.Β I’m thankful for gospel artists though and their obedience in letting God use them to spread His word & love through music. It’s so encouraging. The words in the songs have a way of touching the core of my heart & if it sit there and listen to it long enough, my mood changes! Whether I’m depressed or pissed off, itΒ calmsΒ my nerves. Sometimes, it makes me emotional but in a good way! Keeps me humble & helps me to stay honest with myself. I notice that when some people are sad or depressed, they listen to sad and depressing music! They choose songs that will literally make them feel lower than they already are at the moment. For some people that works but for me, it does not! If I’m using music as my way to escape my current pain then it has to be something that’s uplifting. I have to be listening to something that’s going to speak life into my spirit and not make me feel worse than I’m already feeling. Music is so influential on the brain that the type you listen to actually has the ability to change the way you think and look at certain situations. The impact that music has on your perspective is bigger than you think it is.Β 

YouTube!

Sometimes I get on YouTube and listen to my F A V O R I T E preacher, Pastor John Gray! I don’t do this very often during my emotional moments of depression. Like I almost have to be in the mood to actually sit there and listen to it but every once in a blue moon it helps lighten my mood!Β 

Saved Memes in My Phone

I feel kind of weird including this one in any of my posts but I’m going to tell you anyway because it helps me and I want to help you in every possible! I save have a lot of saved memes in my phone. Some are encouraging and others are just downright hilarious. When I’m feeling down and in the dumps, I scroll through these and most of the time they make me smile πŸ™‚ Most of the time they just remind me that everything’s going to be okay and regardless of what my situation is .. God still has a purpose behind it. For example, one of my favorite memes I have saved says, “You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved.” I’ve used this quote in two of my previous posts and I love it so much! It’s a small one but speaks so much volume! But yeah, that’s just one of those that reminds me that everything I go through is not always for my benefit! Sometimes, reminders are needed to keep us going in the right direction. This is one of my ways of encouraging feeding myself constant positivity.Β 
Leaning on Friends!

Most of the time when people are depressed, they want to be left alone & that’s understandable because I get that way too. But over time, I’ve learned that it’s not always good to be completely isolated from everything and everyone. That’s when suicidal thoughts seem to be the strongest. Depression & Solitude is a terrible combination. Try your best to avoid it! I’ve gotten to where I lean on my friends. Now, I don’t have a lot of friends but I do have a good handful in my corner and when I get depressed there are only certain ones that I’ll call. I call on my GOOFIEST friends! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, they have a way of taking my mind completely off of any stress or depression without even knowing at first that I’m feeling that way. Those silly heifers make me laugh til my stomach hurts! They make me laugh in the moments I don’t even feeling like smiling & I appreciate them so much for that! I always feel a little better after a good laughing session with them. It doesn’t change whatever my situation is but it doesΒ pick me up out of that depressing funk. Make sure you have some people in your life that have the ability to make you feel better whether they know what’s going on or not. They are important and they come in handy during hard depressing times.Β 

Grandma’s Love!

My Granny is my rock! Besides God, she is a truly a source of strength for me. I go to her about any & everything regardless of what type of mood I’m in. I don’t always call either. I physically go see her. A lot of times, just being in her presence is enough for me. She has such a healing type of spirit about herself and anyone that knows her will tell you that! I could be depressed, happy, sad, excited stressed out, feeling crafty, in a cooking mood or whatever and my Granny will be ready for it! She always knows what to do, always knows exactly what to say and always has the right answers for just about everything. She be ready for whatever whenever!! She’s something like a superwoman in my eyes. And I have to be honest, I don’t trust a lot of people in my family but this woman right here.. I trust her with everything in me. My granny keeps ALL of my secrets and will literally take them to the grave with her! She was the very first person to know about both of my pregnancies and even my miscarriage last year. I could name a list of everything she knows about me but I’ll save you the time! But seriously though, my Granny is my everything. When my back is against the wall, I know I can go to her and I also know that I trust her to be honest with me about myself concerning whatever I’m going through at the moment as well as be encouraging and show me some TLC ! (tender, loving, care) I do realize that not everyone still has their grandmothers in their lives but I am truly blessed to still have mine and I just wanted to share with you all that she is definitely one of my weapons to fighting off depression.

 

Some of you already probably implement some of these same exact strategies but for the ones who don’t then I hope this post helps you! And let me say this, what works for me may not work for you and if not, make sure you get the necessary help that you need! If you need to go see a shrink/therapist then by all means go see one! There’s no shame in that and to be honest you.. I’ve been considering doing that for myself just because I’m still struggling to heal from some of the things that have happened in my past. No shame!! Do not be bothered by the opinions of other people. You gotta do what you gotta do for YOU! Remember that.Β 

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