Self Care Sometimes Means Making Peace w/Your Past & Changing Your Number.

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“God will INTENTIONALLY allow the people you want to be in your life, to be a let down in every way possible to help you recognize His plans do NOT include them. We end up making ourselves miserable by hanging on to the very little parts of them that make us comfortable and ignoring the negative all because we do not want to release them to move on without us. Letting go may cause a TEMPORARY discomfort but forfeiting God’s plans for you are not worth it. Trust me when I say “just do it”. You will understand it better by and by.
Self care sometimes means making peace with your past and changing your number. Some people just no longer need access to your life nor should you leave any room for them to think they do. We will never move forward into God’s promises if we keep stringing along people we we were supposed to have dropped off a long time ago. Don’t become your own hinderance.”💛 – Montana Danielle

These beautiful words were written by one of my Facebook friends but I was particularly inspired to share it here on my blog to encourage those men and women out there in toxic relationships to move on and let go! I know that’s much easier said than done. It’s never easy for a good person to walk away; especially after you’ve invested so much of yourself into making it work. I know it’s hard. I’ve already been there and done that but you want to know what I learned? Sometimes it’s not about having the strength to hold on, but it’s about having the courage to let go. Trust that God has a better plan down the road. I know I did and now I’m blessed more than I could ever put into words. I love my Husband with everything in me and it feels to good to know, see and feel that same love being reciprocated !!
If you are going through high-highs, low-lows, desperation, self-loathing, vindication, relief, depression and confusion, I have a message for you: Love doesn’t feel like this. It doesn’t feel like what you’ve been putting up with. Praying for you and your strength to let go and move on!!
-Jessica

Call it Selfish, I Call it Self-Care

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Never apologize for having standards and refusing to just let anyone have a seat at your table in life. People may take offense to it but they often forget that it has more to do with yourself than it does them. YOU are responsible for protecting your peace and have every right to decide who to let in and who to keep out. Call it selfish, I call it self-care. You have one life here on earth, be wise and take care of it. God will show you who NEEDS to be there.
One of the greatest standards I’ve developed so far this year is refusing to take a seat at one’s table of dysfunction, negativity, misery, lies, etc. You have a choice as to what you deal with and please believe that when your standards and refusal to put up with some things make someone uncomfortable or feel rejected, they will pinpoint YOU as the problem but keep your standards and protect your peace anyways. Some things you really DO NOT have to deal with. I promise. 💜✌

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The Dangers of Toxic People & Benefits of Letting Them Go !!

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Let me just start off by saying that toxic relationships are dangerous to your health; they will literally kill you. Stress shortens your lifespan. Even a broken heart can kill you. People will drive you crazy if you let them. When you notice someone does something toxic for the first time, don’t wait for the second time before you address it or cut them off. Last year, I learned a few life lessons that taught me the importance of being selective about where & who I invest my energy in. I had certain goals that I was trying to reach, certain things that I was trying to achieve, big dreams that I was working towards & just trying to better myself as a person period and there were certain people that I hung around or allowed to be in my space that weren’t very supportive of any of those things.

They weren’t bad people! Yeah, sure it was fun to hang out with them every now & then, laugh, joke, cut up & have a few drinks with but eventually I realized that they just weren’t the type of people that needed to be in my inner circle. This is cliché but it is sooooo important to make friendships that are deeper than gossiping, drinking and going out. Make friends with people who love you, genuinely care about you and want to see you make it. Build friendships and relationships with people who are supportive of your dreams, who constantly encourage you to do better and most importantly pray for you.

Don’t get in the habit of hanging around people who show fake love, fake support, spread negativity, criticize you all the time, those who are jealous, don’t have any real life goals, constantly play the victim, who don’t care, are self-centered, always involved in drama & keep disappointing you. Those are toxic people you should just completely get rid of altogether. Never feel guilty about removing people like that from your life. It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend, new acquaintance, employer, romantic interest or family member!! You are allowed to terminate your relationship with toxic people! You are allowed to walk away from people who hurt you. Learn how to forgive and love people from a distance when it becomes necessary. Understand me when I say, “YOU DON’T OWE ANYONE AN EXPLANATION FOR TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF”.

Love yourself enough to walk away from anything and anybody that no longer serves you growth and I’m serious! Last year, I finally learned how to start walking away from situations or people who threatened my peace of mind, self-respect or self-worth. I put a lot of distance between myself & those that I felt were becoming detrimental to my life and where I was trying to go.  I didn’t care if it meant me spending more time at home & less time on the phone. I knew that if I was going to have any chance at reaching any of my goals, being successful or get anywhere else in life besides where I was… I was going to have to make some changes concerning the people I chose to socialize with and invest my energy in period. As a result, my life has been more peaceful, a little less stressful and not only have I achieved SOME of the goals I set for myself but I also went way beyond them and I’m proud of that! I truly believe that your your inner circle can have an impact on your success.

I’ll tell you right now, you are only going to be as good as the people you surround yourself with. So be brave enough to let go of those who keep weighing you down. The more you become aware of what’s really worth your energy, the better off you’ll be. Letting go of toxic people is not cruelty. It’s an act of self-care. Always Remember That !! ❤️

thank you guys for reading post and visiting my blog today!! This was actually one of the very FIRST posts that I published when I joined the world of blogging and I thought it’d be pretty cool to share again since it carries such a strong message!! I pray that you have a great day!!

-Jessica

You {.D E S E R V E.} Better Baby!

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“Today I pray for every person who is in a relationship that they know is no good for them, but because of sexual interactions, soul ties have formed and you don’t posses the power to give up completely. I pray that you are continually convicted, that the love of God overshadows you and God grants you the strength to walk away.. quickly.. and for real this time. Be free in Jesus’ Name.” -Kelsea D Merriweather

I don’t know the lady personally who shared this prayer; I just saw it on FB and decided to share it with you guys because it such a BIG Powerful Prayer !! Toxic relationships can be a horrible struggle to get out of and I know because I’ve already been there and done that. I thank God for growth. I thank God for the strength and courage He gave me to walk away. He can and will do the same for you if you let Him. You take the first step and God will take the rest!
Really, you are too special of a person to just be doing anything with anybody. You don’t have to settle for less than what you deserve. Trust the fact that God is preparing the right heart to love you the way you truly deserved to be loved.

No matter what, you don’t deserve to be anybody’s punching bag. Don’t be strong enough to stay and take the pain, but too weak to leave. You don’t deserve to be played and cheated on either. You deserve someone that is going to love you for YOU. You deserve someone who will give you the freedom to express your feelings and emotions without you feel bad for doing so. You deserve someone who respects you, and is attentive to your needs period. Do not feel like you have to settle for anything less. God’s got someone GREAT for you! Don’t get discouraged; He is just waiting for the right timing. Trust and believe me when I say, “God’s Timing is Always Perfect!” Never too late and not a moment too soon!

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I love you and I am praying for you! Just know that what’s to come is still better than what’s already been🙌 … and remember, take the first step! I know it’s hard and can be scary but pray on it, make your move and let God do the rest!
xoxoxoxoxo!
-Jessica